You weren't born in a crowd.... why go with it???

THE LONE STAR COUNTRY! TEXAS COMPUTER TERMS Texas Guide to Computer Lingo "Hard Drive" - Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer. "Keyboard" - Place to hang your truck keys. "Window" - Place in the truck to hang your gun. "Floppy" - When you run out of Polygrip. "Modem" - How to get rid of your dandelions. "ROM" - Delicious when you mix it with coca cola. "Byte" - First word in a kiss-off phrase. "Reboot" - What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff. "Network" - Activity meant to provide bait for your trout line. "Mouse" - Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case. "LAN" - To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck." "Cursor" - What some guys do when they are mad at their wives/girlfriends. "Bit" - A wager as in "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch long ways." "Digital Control" - What yore fingers do on the TV remote. "Packet" - What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip

TEXAS LINGO           a mess of - unit of mass           dern near - almost           et - as in  "I et to much attha barberque, Myrtle"           Plumb - totally           goshdawg - exclaimation           dawg - four legged animal found under the porch           dawggonnit - exclaimation of frustration           high tail it - go at a rapid speed           hit the road - leave           hollard - yaled           didjya ever - have you ever           Wanna - want to.           Smackdab inda middlof - directly in the middle           Shootfire - of course           auda do - should do           aughten to - ought not to           a spell - come on over a visit a spell (a while)           dadgumit - curse word of exasperation           a fur piece - measure of distance           Where 'bouts you from? - What is your hometown           Howdja git here? - reason for ones relocation           Mosey on down--walkin' in that direction.           gotta skeedaddle lickety split--have to leave "right soon."           A hoot and a holler - close           Zackly - precisely.     "I don't know zackly where in Texas darlin'              Rhonda hails from."           Zat-is that? "Zat yo dawg? He's the spittin' image of you!"           Yo-possessive of you. "What's yo name, sweetheart."           Continya-continue. "Let's continya "speakin' suthun." This shore              is fun!           Gimme-give me. "Gimme smore biscuits smothered in gravy."           Ail-sick or ill. "Gimme smore ale so I can cure what's ailing me."           Bad off-in real bad shape.  "Jim Bob's in the hospital and boy is              real bad off! He didn't even recognize his dawg!!!"           Beholden--indebted to. "I'm right beholden to ya for loaning me              that thar huntin' dawg."           Cheer--furniture used for setting. "Pull yourself up that thar cheer              and setchursef  down for a spell."           Shore 'nuff--sure enough.           Drank--a drink.  "Wanna drank somethin'?"           Get by with--to get away with. "Bobbie Sue will never let you get by              with that farfetched story."           Figger--figure. "Peggy Sue's got a great figger!!!!"           Jest--just.  "Jest married."           Skeeters and chiggers-damn bugs that annoy the "hale" out of a person.           Body--person. "Cain't a body git any damn service in this restaurant?"           He's too lazy to hit a lick at a snake.           This knife's so dull it wouldn't cut hot butter.           It's cold as a well digger's tail.           He's just as happy as if he had good sense.           That boy can run faster than greased lightening.           She's pretty as a speckled pup.           It was rough as a cob.           This here's better'n snuff, ain't half as dusty.           I'm full as a tick.           That ol' boy's tough as whit leather.           She's fat as a tub o lard.           She's limber as a dishrag.           He ran like a scalded dog.           She was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking                chairs.           She's so ugly she'd run a dog off'n a meat wagon.           He took off like Moody's goose.           That stuff's as scarce as hen's teeth.           He's done gone and got Yankee rich.           She's sorry as a two dollar watch.           He's so poor he'd have to borrow money to buy water to cry with.           I tell ya', I'm plumb tuckered out.           He's slick as an eel.           He's so buck toothed he could eat corn-on-the-cob through a                keyhole.           He's wild as a peach orchard hog.           He was steppin' in high cotton.           ......If'n - If  - If'n you ain't gonna tell, needer am I.           Colder than a witches tit in a brass brassier           Crazier than a run over dawg!           Ya betch'er sweet bippy           You savey ? - Do you understand me.           And from a one Lt. Col. Kim Maurer,  (aka Macho Mango Man) comes.......                  Yesseree, Bubba.           Nut'nduin - I will not, would not, could not, should not do that.           A redneck would rather push his Harley than ride a "rice burner"           Pardy - Going over to momma and ems for a pardy (party).           Nuf - Nuf said (enough)           Earl - Hair Earl, Motor Earl (oil), Radio Earl (aerial).           Eyetalian - my daughter is marrin' that Eyetalian (Italian) fellow.           Didji - Didji know or didji hear (did you)           Pony-ac - I'm going to buy me a brand new Pony-ac (Pontiac).           Yeller - I going to buy me a brand new yeller (yellow) pony-ac.           Buy me - used as a verb seems to be unique to the South (see above)           Auta (should)-"I auta go to work but ahm tared."           Barn (born)-"I was barn in Texas."           Ded (not alive)-"He ded."           Fusstist  (a number that comes before second"--}This is my                   fusstist  Hurricane Punch at Pat O"Briens."           Heaven (having)-"I'm heaven some folks over foah dinnah."           Rat cheer (not there but here"--}Lay the books rat cheer."           Thud (a number after two)--"This is only my thud mint julep.           Outside of  Texas  they say "get" instead of "git," "pretty" rather           than "pertty , "can't" not "cain't."           Kinda (kind of)--My arm kinda hurts a tad bit.           Suppah (supper)--Suppah comes after dinnah.           Catchup--Pass the catchup so I can catch up with ya.           Earrainian (person from iran_--Saddam what's his name is Earrainian.           Ain'tcha (aren't you)--Ain'tcha goin' to ask me to dance?           Axe (opposite of tell)--Axe me to pass the biscuits and gravy.           Shore nuf (sure enough--Shore nuf you're as "pertty" as my pickup                   truck and "perttier" than my dawg.           Out chander (out yonder)opposite of rat cheer(right here)  Forgit--opposite of remember. Sorry LuLu Belle--Didn't mean to forgit              your name.           banes: I love them pinto banes.           flares: The wild flares bloom in the spring.           raffle: fer shootin' squirrels           all: black stuff from the ground           mash: start a car by mashin' the starter button                                                           fixin': A'm fixin to quit this silly stuff